Funny Friendship Quotes for Best Friends – Funny Friend Quotes

Funny Friendship Quotes

  • “Best friends are those who greet with an insult.”
  • “The antidote of fifty enemies is one friend.” —Aristotle
  • “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.” —Unknown
  • “A true friend stabs you in the front.” —Oscar Wilde
  • “If you need to sober up, ditch your best friends.”
  • “Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.”
  • “I was an innocent being, then my best friends came along.”
  • “Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they’ll never be seen again.”
  • “Do you think I’m crazy? You should see me with my best friend.”
  • “This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” —Unknown
  • “Friendship is, chatting and wasting time when we have an exam the next day.”
  • “You’re just jealous because we act retarded in public but people still love us!”
  • “Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.” —Patrick to Spongebob
  • “I love you more than food, okay maybe not food but I still love you.”
  • “Friends will tell you if your face is dirty. Best friends will make it dirtier.”
  • “If you hurt my best friend, I can make your death look like an accident.”
  • “Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.”
  • “The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”
  • “If I have to clean my house before you come over, then we’re not real friends.”
  • “A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.” —Erma Bombeck
  • “Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.”
  • “You drink too much. Cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.”
  • “Good friends will mourn your death; best friends will come and clean your computer history immediately after you die.”
  • “When your best friends say you can have a bite of their food, you take the biggest bite humanly possible.”
  • “Friendship means understanding, not agreement. It means forgiveness, not forgetting. It means the memories last, even if contact is lost.”
  • f“A good friend can finish your sentences… a best friend will do the same, but make it sound 10 times dirtier.”
  • “We are keenly aware of the faults of our friends, but if they like us enough it doesn’t matter.” —Mignon McLaughlin
  • “A true friend is the one that stays no matter what happens even if we betray each other, and that is you.”
  • “The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” —Mark Twain

Funny Friendship Quotes for Best Friends

  • “Friends offer free therapy.” —Unknown
  • “Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.” —Wayne Dyer
  • “I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.” —Unknown
  • “Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.” —Unknown
  • “I and my best friends can communication with just facial expressions.” —Unknown
  • “Never let you friends be lonely…. Disturb them all the time.” —Unknown
  • “We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes.” —Unknown
  • “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.” —Unknown
  • “You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.” —Unknown
  • “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” —Greg Tamblyn
  • “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” —Marlene Dietrich
  • “Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” —Sicilian Proverb
  • “If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything.” —Unknown
  • “I think we’ll be friend forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.” —Unknown
  • “God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.” —Unknown
  • “To me, every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle.” —Walt Whitman
  • “We will always be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we will be new friends.” —Unknown
  • “I’d take a bullet for you. Not in the head. But like in the leg or something.” —Unknown
  • “We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.” —Unknown
  • “Best friends know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.” —Unknown
  • “Sometimes I think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’” —Cookie Monster
  • “A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.” —Jim Hayes
  • “Real friendship is when you friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.” —Unknown
  • “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “Best friend: the one that you can mad only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.” —Unknown
  • “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” —Bernard Meltzer
  • “Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we cannot explain, surround us on every hand: life itself is the miracle of miracles.” —George Bernard Shaw
  • “Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.” —Unknown
  • “Thank you for still being my friend, despite the fact that you are completely aware of every terrifying, raunchy, explicit detail of my life.” —Unknown
  • “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” —Laurence J. Peter
  • “We can see a thousand miracles around us every day. What is more supernatural than an egg yolk turning into a chicken?” —S. Parkes Cadman
  • “I hope we’re friend until we die. Then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.” —Unknown
  • “One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.” —Clifton Fadiman
  • “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” —Oprah Winfrey
  • “Statistically speaking, the fact that you’re alive is pretty much a straight up miracle. It’s as if you won one of the most difficult lotteries in the history of the world.” —Dave Craige
  • “You can learn to go way beyond believing and goal setting, to a new place within yourself: the place of knowing. It is in this realm of your mind that miracles are produced.” —Wayne Dyer
  • “The Old Testament is the best commentary on the New Testament ever written. There we learn why Jesus had to come, why He taught what He did, and why He worked miracles.” —Dr. Stephen Lennox
  • “Does God still do miracles today? You bet he does. But he does them in his timing, according to his sovereign will. Believe that God is working in your life, claim his promise, and move forward with his power!” —Rick Warren

Funny Friendship Quotes from Movies

  • “Everyone’s too stupid.” —Ghost World, 2001
  • “Only a true friend would be that truly honest.” —Shrek
  • “Cameron: “Ha, you’ve been saying that since the fifth grade.” —Ferris Beuller’s Day Off
  • “You are my best friend! Don’t you ever call anybody else that?” —Broad City
  • “I’m so jealous. That’s it. I’ve got to get some dumb, ugly friends.” —Gilmore Girls
  • “I found out what the secret to life is: friends. Best friends.” —Fried Green Tomatoes, 1991
  • “Ann: “You made me watch all eight Harry Potter movies. I don’t even like Harry Potter!”
  • “Leslie: “That’s insane! You love Harry Potter! You’ve seen all eight movies!” —Parks & Recreation, 2009
  • “Ferris: If you’re not over here in 15 minutes, you can find yourself a new best friend.”
  • “But the thing that makes Woody special is he’ll never give up on you…ever.” —Toy Story 3
  • “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” —Clueless
  • “We didn’t even realize we were making memories. We just knew we were having fun.” —Winnie The Pooh
  • “Me! Books and cleverness! There are more important things: friendship and bravery.” —Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
  • “You’re mad. Bonkers. Off your head…..But I’ll tell you a secret…..some of the best people are.” —Alice In Wonderland
  • “We made a deal ages ago… Men, babies, it doesn’t matter – we’re soulmates.” —Sex and the City 2, 2010
  • “I don’t need another friend. I already have two. How many more friends does a guy need?”—Freaks and Geeks, 2000
  • “Okay, but you have to listen to everything I say. When I say jump, you say on who?” —The Golden Girls
  • “I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you.” —Joey
  • “Molly: You were incredible! You were so scary. Amy: If you were a criminal, you’d be the best fucking criminal in Los Angeles.” —Booksmart, 2019
  • “I’ve literally been here for two hours and I haven’t spoken to anybody. I’m so happy to see you I could murder you.” —Girls, 2012
  • “Well, maybe sometimes it’s easier to be mad at the people you trust. Because you know they’ll always love you, no matter what.” —The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants
  • “There’s nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for all the right reasons.” —The Perks of Being a Wallflower, 2012
  • “This is a hug, okay? This is a hug! And this is when you hug someone when you care about them and you want them to know that.” —Boy Meets World
  • “Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.” —Mean Girls, 2004
  • “Listen, man. You’re my friend, and I know you care about me. And I know you disapprove, and I respect that…You understand literature, movies, wine — but you don’t understand my plight.” —Sideways, 2004
  • “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. It’s the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. And I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope.” —The Shawshank Redemption

Funny Quotes About Friendship

  • “True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.” —Emilie Saint-Genis
  • “Best Friend: One million memories, ten thousand inside jokes, one hundred shared secrets.”
  • “The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” —Jay McInerney
  • “There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” —Sylvia Plath
  • “A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” —Elbert Hubbard
  • “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” —Linda Grayson
  • “Sharing inside jokes together and all! We have friends that we adore and sometimes hate too.”
  • “A good friend knows all your best stories, a best friend has lived them with you.”
  • “A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.” —Unknown
  • “We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice but is still single.”
  • “You will never realize how weird your friends are until you start describing them to someone else.”
  • “You’ll look a lot less crazy if you can get your friend to do it with you.”
  • “An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.” —Jim Hayes
  • “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” —Robert Brault
  • “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are, and then wait to hear the answer.” —Ed Cunningham
  • “A friend will prevent you from getting into more debt. A true friend will bring your credit score down.”
  • “No matter how serious life gets you still going to have that one person you can be completely stupid with.”
  • “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “When you completely trust a person, you’ll get one of two results: a friend for life, or a lesson for life.”
  • “Having those weird conversations with your friends and thinking if anyone heard you talking, they’d put you in a mental hospital.”
  • “Best friends are people who will make your problem with their problems, just so you don’t have to go through them alone.”
  • “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” —Bernard Meltzer
  • “Good friends offer a shoulder when you need to cry. Best friends are there with a shovel to beat up who made you cry.”
  • “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” —Laurence J. Peter
  • “One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.” —George Carlin
  • “The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.” —Mark Twain
  • “They aren’t perfect people and sometimes we fall apart. However, there are people that we just can’t live without. We makeup with them and resume our laughter with them. Find your gem in this world, find your true friends in this world!”

Short Funny Quotes about Friendship

  • “Happiness is having crazy friends.”
  • “Happiness is doing weird things with friends.”
  • “Everyone has a friend who is a plant-killer.”
  • “Friends make you laugh till your cheeks hurt.”
  • “Love is blind. Friendship closes its eyes.” —Friedrich Nietzsche
  • “I like you because you join in all my weirdness.”
  • “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.” —Unknown
  • “True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.”
  • “Never let your friends feel lonely, disturb them all the time.”
  • “I and my best friends can communicate just with…. Facial expression.”
  • “I don’t know what’s tighter: our jeans or our friendship.” —Unknown
  • “Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.” —Otto von Bismarck
  • “Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.” —Unknown
  • “What’s better than having your jokes be shared with your best friends?”
  • “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 AM that matter.”
  • “Good friends talk about their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.”
  • “Nothing compares to the stomach ache you get from laughing with friends.”
  • “We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.” —Unknown
  • “We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper.”
  • “A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.”
  • “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps.”
  • “A true friend stabs you in the front, not the back.” —Oscar Wilde
  • “A girl can survive without a boyfriend, but she can’t survive without a best friend.”
  • “God made us best friends because he knew our moms couldn’t handle us as sisters.”
  • “Our friendship is like an egg; we may be cracked, but we still roll well.”

Funny Quotes About Friends

  • “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”
  • “Good times and crazy friends make the best memories.”
  • “Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.”
  • “Friendship is not a big thing, it’s a million little things.”
  • “Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.”
  • “Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.”
  • “A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.”
  • “A best friend is someone who loves you when you forget to love yourself.”
  • “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend but it sure helps!”
  • “Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”
  • “You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me… I’ll train you.”
  • “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” —Greg Tamblyn
  • “Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.”
  • “My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” —Matt Schucker
  • “This the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected. – Charles Lamb
  • “I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.”
  • “Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them, and sometimes it’s good just knowing they’re there.”
  • “Best friends…they know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
  • “You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else.”
  • “We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I’ll pick you up, after I finish laughing.”
  • “Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.”
  • “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” —Robert Brault
  • “An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.” —Jim Hayes
  • “Friendship is not about people who act true to your face. It’s about people who remain true behind your back.”
  • “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” —Mark Twain
  • “Best friend: the one you can only get mad at for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.”
  • “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” —C.S. Lewis
  • “If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” —Oprah Winfrey
  • “A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” —Arnold H. Glasgow
  • “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?” —A.A. Milne
  • “It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.” —Mignon McLaughlin
  • “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” —Rita Mae Brown
  • “A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. … I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane. Depression is itself destructive, and it breeds destructive impulses: I am easily disappointed in people who don’t get it.”

Funny Best Friend Qutoes

  • “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”
  • “Good times and crazy friends make the best memories.”
  • “Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.”
  • “Friendship is not a big thing, it’s a million little things.”
  • “Behind every successful woman is a best friend giving her crazy ideas.”
  • “Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm.”
  • “A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.”
  • “A best friend is someone who loves you when you forget to love yourself.”
  • “You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend but it sure helps!”
  • “Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.”
  • “You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me… I’ll train you.”
  • “Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.” —Greg Tamblyn
  • “Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.”
  • “My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” —Matt Schucker
  • “This the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected. – Charles Lamb
  • “I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.”
  • “Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them, and sometimes it’s good just knowing they’re there.”
  • “Best friends…they know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
  • “You will never realize how wired your friends are until you start to describe them to someone else.”
  • “We are best friends. Always remember that when you fall, I’ll pick you up, after I finish laughing.”
  • “Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.”
  • “Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.” —Robert Brault
  • “An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.” —Jim Hayes
  • “Friendship is not about people who act true to your face. It’s about people who remain true behind your back.”
  • “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.” —Mark Twain
  • “Best friend: the one you can only get mad at for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.”
  • “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” —C.S. Lewis
  • “If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.” —Oprah Winfrey
  • “A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.” —Arnold H. Glasgow
  • “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like, ‘What about lunch?” —A.A. Milne
  • “It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.” —Mignon McLaughlin
  • “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” —Rita Mae Brown
  • “A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. … I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane. Depression is itself destructive, and it breeds destructive impulses: I am easily disappointed in people who don’t get it.”

Funny Friends Quotes and Sayings

  • “Nothing makes you happier than your friend’s failure.” —Unknown
  • “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone.” —Unknown
  • “Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.” —Samuel Butler
  • “A true friend stabs you in the front.” —Oscar Wilde
  • “Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.” —Unknown
  • “Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.” —Publilius Syrus
  • “God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.”
  • “It is not enough to succeed, a friend must fail.” —La Rochefoucauld
  • “The best time to make friends is before you need them.” —Ethel Barrymore
  • “A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.” —Erma Bombeck
  • “Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friend’s shortcomings.” —Mason Cooley
  • “Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.” —Lord Chesterfield
  • “True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.” —David Tyson
  • “Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.” —Mason Cooley
  • “A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.” —Samuel Hall Lord
  • “No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.” —Groucho Marx
  • “A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.” —Abraham Lincoln
  • “Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.” —Jane Austen
  • “Show me a friend in need and I’ll show you a pest.” —Joe Lewis
  • “Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” —Silican proverb
  • “A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.” —Doug Larson
  • “In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends.” —John Churton Collins
  • “Being friendless taught me how to be a friend. Funny how that works.” —Colleen Wainwright
  • “I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.”
  • “He’s the kind of friend who will always be there when he needs you.” —Adam Christing
  • “Having friends you like who are like you is a form of narcissism.” —Laurence J. Peters
  • “If you have good friends, no matter how much life is sucking, they can make you laugh.”
  • “Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.” —W.H. Auden
  • “Friendship is being there when someone’s feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.” —Randy K. Milholland
  • “A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.” —George Ade
  • “Friends were like clothes: fine while they lasted but eventually they wore thin or you grew out of them.” —David Nicholls
  • “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.” —Unknown
  • “The only thing that lasts longer than a friend’s love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better.” —Randy K. Milholland
  • “I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” —Plutarch
  • “Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.” —Anne Morrow Lindbergh
  • “I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.” —Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort
  • “A friend is like a good bra: hard to find, comfortable, supportive, always lifts you up, makes you look better, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and always close to your heart.” —Unknown